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Tuesday, August 15, 2006
My days with my neighbor are getting a little bit serious everyday...
Really giving me the chills....
I don't feel like putting this up in the blog but....i can't help myself...
Well, this afternoon, as we went home, I felt something kinda nervous about his reactions and words... I mean, he became serious all of a sudden....and eventually I became scared of him...
As usual when we ride a bus home, he would tell me to go to the farthest seat which I approved of [ because I hate being in contact with people ]. This time, half of the bus was empty...so, i suggested that we will STILL sit to the back because it's really cold there. Then after we got seated, I pulled out my comb and pressed powder..because it's a part of my routine to freshen up in the bus. He said " Ok, make yourself looke cute...". I said, "Whatever...."
He told me afterwards that I really looked cute when i have powder...so, i thought " This guy's so baka.. (stupid)".
then he hugged me... i felt this nervous thingy again...
as he lowered his head, i could feel his breath across my face, my lips....
"You're so cute..."
his hand was pulling my face closer to his. I just stared at him. " What's his problem?" I thought.
"I want to kiss you..."
Eventhough my soul is trapped within a child's body, I'm still the feminine girl whose still sensitive at these things....
He kept on saying, " I want to kiss you...but I can't" and he started to cup my face and touch my lips. Of course I want to stop him.
And he stopped...but his arms were still around me...
And I knew , even when I closed my eyes... I could feel...
...that he really wanted to kiss me at all.
"I don't know why I liked you but I think because you're so cute..."
"Hmmm.., I 50% believe you....because if you like a person...you can't dercribe his/her perfectly...the fact that you like or love him/her..is the correct reason.."
As my head rested upon his shoulder, my eyes closed, [because i was trying to sleep because i'm sooooo tired ] his face across mine, he kept on whispering...
" Don't do that...shit....ugh.."
I already knew by then, lust was there...He wanted to do his goal because we're taking the bus off soon...
but he just hugged me tight.
I'm happy because he respects me so much... he respects me probably because ...
he loves me....
fuck... i lost my gtec today.... maybe at the school or bus or while walking...
8/15/2006 10:16:00 PM
--I was probably the most problematic, for not being able to recognize the desirability of the majority of things in the world. This world, which had existed long before I was born, must have been correct, by majority rule. Those scant few who could not conform were responsible for their own inability to conform.
-- At the in-between age of sixteen, there were times when I was bothersomely frank and refused to play the part of a "pure maiden." Then, I became so active and outgoing. I surprised myself...
--I wasn't dissatisfied with anything. There just wasn't a single drop of moisture within me. I carried a vast, dry wasteland within me, and I was at a loss..
--a bothersome girl.
--I just wanted to be left alone, but every day people irresponsibly clamored to know why I preferred to be strange and alone.
--I was honestly jealous of earthworms because they were all hermaphrodites.
--IS A SUPER SHOUJO-AI ADDICT!!!!!!!! LOVES SACHIKO~sama!!!!!!!!XD
